poem for abah

entri ini untuk gambarkan betapa i hate u, abah.

i hate u abah.

i hate u for marrying second, third and forth wife.
i hate u for marrying a far younger women then my mother.
i hate u for gave me a stepmother while i was in kindergarten.
i hate u for beaten my mother in front of my eyes.
i hate u for leaving us and went to stay with my stepmother.
i hate u for spending more time with my stepmother than with me and my mother.
i hate u for making my mother cry.
i hate u for making my mother angry.
i hate u for u are very strict with us while we were kids but u didn't do the same with ur daughters now.
i hate u for treating and speaking far more nicer with ur friend compared to us.
i hate u for speaking like u are a good husband and as if u never do wrong but in fact ur action are opposite with what u have said.
i hate u when u bought me a car and the car got towed because u didn't pay the monthly installment.
i hate u when u bought me an old saga car.
i hate u when u never ask us what we like. instead u did what u like.
i hate u when u speak impolite with my mother.
i hate u when u smoke. its too smoky.
i hate u every time i have to come and stay at ur house.
i hate u when i have to ask money for school every month sedangkan its ur responsibilities to give without waiting for me to ask for it.
i hate u when u look at other women.
i hate u when u speak without think and hurts my feeling.
i hate u when u said u r sorry and keep doing the same mistake.
i hate u when speak big.
i hate u for ur unfairness between ur wives.
i hate u when u speak bad things about my mother to my aunts and uncles.
i hate my aunts and uncles for trusting every words that u have said.
i hate them for bad mouth about my mother.
i hate u for u are the reason they bad mouth about my mother.
i hate u when i called u, my stepmother answered the phone.
i hate u for what u did to my brothers when they was working with u.
i hate u for u always skipped from helping in gotong-royong during kenduri.
i hate u always sleep while others are busy doing the work.
i hate u for u wasted the job that u had because of ur mistake.

i hate my self for hating u.
i hate myself for not able to forgive u.

i hate u abah.serius.

do u hate me now?