Welcome 2015.
I am 32, Fat and Not Married.
This is a story about being grateful with what we have.
Story about how I came to learn to love myself for who I am.
Well, it started since I was in high school. I can say that I am overweight since then. And, I was constantly hate myself. Now, I am not overweight anymore, I am with obesity. Alhamdulillah.
I don't like my weight. It always goes over 70 kg, 80 kg.
I don't like myself. I have been trying all sort of method available in the market specially for weight loss.
I tried product A, product B, product C but the result is not as what I am expected nor as the advert propagate.
some are too expensive to maintain.
some are not effective anymore.
some are giving me bad health.
etc..etc..
Damn!
When people said it straight to my face about my weight, about my effort trying this pills and this drinks, it hurts REALLY BAD inside.
Its not like I don't want to lose weight.
I am dying to lose weight.
But, after all these years, all those method never gives any positives result.
Don't mentioned about marriage, I am jealous to death looking at my friends who are already married and now they have kids.
I feel like a loser.
Alhamdulillah, after I started working in Bangi, I met Kak Yan, she had introduced me to many good things including KSK. KSK is Kechara Soup Kitchen. I followed her to the briefing for the first time at a week before Raya last year and keep volunteering after that.
Volunteering with KSK -- I am giving out food to the homeless at every Saturday night (almost). In one night, Allah had given me the deepest lesson to me.
That night, I was following our team leader, brother Hassan Scott to do registration for new client. Client is the term used by KSK for homeless. And so I was listening to their conversation. That guy have the same age as mine. He had prison records, he's on drugs, he got AIDS, and he's homeless. He have a very old mother in 'kampung' but he refuse to go back because he didn't want to burden his mother. He got married but divorced and have 1 child with her.
I feel very pity towards him.
How about his future?
At the same time, it makes me really scare because I never imagine that one's life can be that bad.
I thought being fat and not married is the craziest things that could happened.
Pak Long Tongkat is our regular client. He got gangren. (I am not sure the correct medical term-- but its for people who have diabetic and his feet is getting very bad) He refused to get help by the KSK medical team or going to hospital. He didn't want his feet to get amputated. And, he keep moving with 'tongkat' carrying his feet.
Watching him-- is a slap in my face for the second time.
I keep complaining to Allah about my weight, I want to become slim like the model and fake beauty in the magazine.
I failed to see all the blessing from Allah, all the gifts from Allah, are actually right in front of my eyes all the time.
Whatever I have now, are all Allah's gift.
Fat, slim, is a matter of shape of body.
Not the determination of one's happiness.
Now, I have changed my perception about going on diet.
This is not about getting human perception on perfect shape, perfect beauty, perfect husband, perfect marriage or anything...
I am perfect. Allah made me and you perfect and we are beautiful.
I want to reduce my weight to be healthy.
I want to reach my ideal weight and when I am free from bad fat, bad cholesterol, I want to register as on organ donor.
InsyaAllah.
I will stop here with "Al-Quran. Ar-Rahman 55:13-- Maka nikmat Tuhanmu yang mana yang kamu dustakan?"
Yours truly,
Fat and Not Married.
I am 32, Fat and Not Married.
This is a story about being grateful with what we have.
Story about how I came to learn to love myself for who I am.
Well, it started since I was in high school. I can say that I am overweight since then. And, I was constantly hate myself. Now, I am not overweight anymore, I am with obesity. Alhamdulillah.
I don't like my weight. It always goes over 70 kg, 80 kg.
I don't like myself. I have been trying all sort of method available in the market specially for weight loss.
I tried product A, product B, product C but the result is not as what I am expected nor as the advert propagate.
some are too expensive to maintain.
some are not effective anymore.
some are giving me bad health.
etc..etc..
Damn!
When people said it straight to my face about my weight, about my effort trying this pills and this drinks, it hurts REALLY BAD inside.
Its not like I don't want to lose weight.
I am dying to lose weight.
But, after all these years, all those method never gives any positives result.
Don't mentioned about marriage, I am jealous to death looking at my friends who are already married and now they have kids.
I feel like a loser.
Alhamdulillah, after I started working in Bangi, I met Kak Yan, she had introduced me to many good things including KSK. KSK is Kechara Soup Kitchen. I followed her to the briefing for the first time at a week before Raya last year and keep volunteering after that.
Volunteering with KSK -- I am giving out food to the homeless at every Saturday night (almost). In one night, Allah had given me the deepest lesson to me.
That night, I was following our team leader, brother Hassan Scott to do registration for new client. Client is the term used by KSK for homeless. And so I was listening to their conversation. That guy have the same age as mine. He had prison records, he's on drugs, he got AIDS, and he's homeless. He have a very old mother in 'kampung' but he refuse to go back because he didn't want to burden his mother. He got married but divorced and have 1 child with her.
I feel very pity towards him.
How about his future?
At the same time, it makes me really scare because I never imagine that one's life can be that bad.
I thought being fat and not married is the craziest things that could happened.
Pak Long Tongkat is our regular client. He got gangren. (I am not sure the correct medical term-- but its for people who have diabetic and his feet is getting very bad) He refused to get help by the KSK medical team or going to hospital. He didn't want his feet to get amputated. And, he keep moving with 'tongkat' carrying his feet.
Watching him-- is a slap in my face for the second time.
I keep complaining to Allah about my weight, I want to become slim like the model and fake beauty in the magazine.
I failed to see all the blessing from Allah, all the gifts from Allah, are actually right in front of my eyes all the time.
Whatever I have now, are all Allah's gift.
Fat, slim, is a matter of shape of body.
Not the determination of one's happiness.
Now, I have changed my perception about going on diet.
This is not about getting human perception on perfect shape, perfect beauty, perfect husband, perfect marriage or anything...
I am perfect. Allah made me and you perfect and we are beautiful.
I want to reduce my weight to be healthy.
I want to reach my ideal weight and when I am free from bad fat, bad cholesterol, I want to register as on organ donor.
InsyaAllah.
I will stop here with "Al-Quran. Ar-Rahman 55:13-- Maka nikmat Tuhanmu yang mana yang kamu dustakan?"
Yours truly,
Fat and Not Married.
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