pilihan.
dulu, buat pilihan adalah perkara yang sangatlah saya benci. tak suka tak suka.
skrg, bile dh tue2 mcm ni, barulah nampak hikmahnya knp kita mesti buat pilihan dalam hidup.
dalam hidup semua yg bergelar insan akan diberi ujian di mana akhirnya kite terpaksa membuat pilihan. suka atau tidak, mesti pilih.
buat pilihan, memerlukan kita berfikir.
kita mesti bijak memilih jalan mana yang harus kita lalui.
kita berfikir baik dan buruknya pilihan2 yg kita ada. apa kesannya di masa hadapan.when i said about future, its not only about us, ia akan mempengaruhi insan2 lain di sekeliling kita juga. family kita yg paling utamanye.
dan berbuat pilihan, Allah dh beri guidelines. berfikir guna akal bukan ikut hati. kita ada Yang Maha Tinggi di atas sana, hanya pada Dialah tempat kita bergantung. bila kita buat keputusan, pada Dia lah kita berserah dan bertawakal. dengan solat istikharah, Allah bg peluang untuk kita bermohon pada Nya.
Insyaallah, keputusan yg dibuat dengan petunjuk dr Allah, akan menenangkan hati kita. kita tak akan menyesal di kemudian hari. Insyaallah.
still, now, sy rs sikit2 takut.
bnyk perkara dlm kepale sy skrg, nk sambung phd kt utp ke nk apply kt ump je?
nk cari keje ke nk sambung belajar?
kalu sy bekerja, sy xdpt jage my emak.
so, what is the point?
tp kalu xkerja, kuranglah sumber pendapatan family kami. sy dan my emak same2 x bergaji.
keadaan skrg, xsame macam dulu lg. serius tak sama.
bnyk yg sy korbankan, walau sedih dan rindu, sy tahu hikmahnya ada. sy yakin janji Allah.
sy harapkan Allah teruskan kuatkan iman dan semangat sy.
semoga sy buat pilihan yang betul dan diredhai oleh-Nya.
Jumaat, Oktober 29, 2010
Sabtu, Oktober 23, 2010
Sabtu, Oktober 16, 2010
after raya
My emak dh undergo 2 times of chemo treatment. each time after chemo, she will vomit everything that she ate or drank. walaupun hanya air kosong. akan muntah air kosong semula.
disebabkan selalu vomit, die selalu rs lapar tp rs serik nk makan, takut muntah.
walaupun ade tablet tahan muntah yg farmasi bg, ubat tu pun keluar jugak masa muntah.
rambut my emak pun dh bnyk yg gugur. especially di bahagian belakang sbb bila berbaring, bergesel dgn bantal. kadang2, bile my emak lurut rambut pun, ada yg gugur kt tangan die.
my emak dh turun 4 kg dlm masa 21 hari. duration antara 1st chemo and 2nd chemo.
my emak kata kaki die sakit, lengan lenguh2. hari2 die suh urut.
another 4 cycle of chemo to go..... be strong Insya Allah
disebabkan selalu vomit, die selalu rs lapar tp rs serik nk makan, takut muntah.
walaupun ade tablet tahan muntah yg farmasi bg, ubat tu pun keluar jugak masa muntah.
rambut my emak pun dh bnyk yg gugur. especially di bahagian belakang sbb bila berbaring, bergesel dgn bantal. kadang2, bile my emak lurut rambut pun, ada yg gugur kt tangan die.
my emak dh turun 4 kg dlm masa 21 hari. duration antara 1st chemo and 2nd chemo.
my emak kata kaki die sakit, lengan lenguh2. hari2 die suh urut.
another 4 cycle of chemo to go..... be strong Insya Allah
Sabtu, September 04, 2010
Ramadhan ini....
puasa tahun lepas sy di utp, tahun ni di kuantan.
hurmm...
siapa yg dpt jangka sy akan di sini kn.
kita hanya mampu merancang, tp Allah jualah yg menentukan.
sgt2lah betul.
:)
sy skrg sgt suke dgn lagu ini....
MAHER ZAIN - INSHAALLAH
Every time you feel like you cannot go on
You feel so lost and
That you're so alone
All you see is night
And darkness all around
You feel so helpless
You can’t see which way to go
Don’t despair n' never loose hope
Cos' Allah is always by your side
Insha Allah x3
Insha Allah you’ll find your way
Insha Allah x3
Every time you can make one more mistake
You feel you can’t repent
And that it's why too late
You’re so confused,
Wrong decisions you have made
Hunt your mind and your heart is full of shame
Don’t despair and never loose hope
Cos' Allah is always by your side
Insha Allah x3
Insha Allah you’ll find your way
Insha Allah x3
Insha Allah you’ll find your way
Turn to Allah
He’s never far away
Put your trust in Him Raise your hands and pray Oh
Ya Allah
Guide my steps don’t let me go astray
You’re the only one that showed me the way,
Showed me the way x2
Insha Allah x3
Insha Allah we’ll find our way
dan yg ini juga...
MAHER ZAIN - THANK YOU ALLAH
I was so far from you
Yet to me you were always so close
I wandered lost in the dark
I closed my eyes toward the signs
You put in my way
I walked everyday
Further and further away from you
Ooooo Allah, you brought me home
I thank You with every breath I take.
futnut: hidup kite singkat je kn kt dunia ni....
hurmm...
siapa yg dpt jangka sy akan di sini kn.
kita hanya mampu merancang, tp Allah jualah yg menentukan.
sgt2lah betul.
:)
sy skrg sgt suke dgn lagu ini....
MAHER ZAIN - INSHAALLAH
Every time you feel like you cannot go on
You feel so lost and
That you're so alone
All you see is night
And darkness all around
You feel so helpless
You can’t see which way to go
Don’t despair n' never loose hope
Cos' Allah is always by your side
Insha Allah x3
Insha Allah you’ll find your way
Insha Allah x3
Every time you can make one more mistake
You feel you can’t repent
And that it's why too late
You’re so confused,
Wrong decisions you have made
Hunt your mind and your heart is full of shame
Don’t despair and never loose hope
Cos' Allah is always by your side
Insha Allah x3
Insha Allah you’ll find your way
Insha Allah x3
Insha Allah you’ll find your way
Turn to Allah
He’s never far away
Put your trust in Him Raise your hands and pray Oh
Ya Allah
Guide my steps don’t let me go astray
You’re the only one that showed me the way,
Showed me the way x2
Insha Allah x3
Insha Allah we’ll find our way
dan yg ini juga...
MAHER ZAIN - THANK YOU ALLAH
I was so far from you
Yet to me you were always so close
I wandered lost in the dark
I closed my eyes toward the signs
You put in my way
I walked everyday
Further and further away from you
Ooooo Allah, you brought me home
I thank You with every breath I take.
Alhamdulillah, Elhamdulillah
All praises to Allah, All praises to Allah
Alhamdulillah, Elhamdulillah
All praises to Allah, All praises to Allah.
I never thought about
All the things you have given to me
I never thanked you once
I was too proud to see the truth
And prostrate to you
Until I took the first step
And that’s when you opened the doors for me
Now Allah, I realized what I was missing
By being far from you.
Alhamdulillah, Elhamdulillah
All praises to Allah, All praises to Allah
Alhamdulillah, Elhamdulillah
All praises to Allah, All praises to Allah.
Allah, I wanna thank You
I wanna thank you for all the things that you’ve done
You’ve done for me through all my years I’ve been lost
You guided me from all the ways that were wrong
And did you give me hope
O Allah, I wanna thank you
I wanna thank You for all the things that you’ve done
You’ve done for me through all my years I’ve been lost
You guided me from all the ways that were wrong
I wanna thank You for bringing me home
Alhamdulillah, Elhamdulillah
All praises to Allah, All praises to Allah
Alhamdulillah, Elhamdulillah
All praises to Allah, All praises to Allah.
futnut: hidup kite singkat je kn kt dunia ni....
Jumaat, Ogos 06, 2010
30 hari hilang dari dunia
5th July - 3rd August
cukup genap 30 hari sy duduk di HTAA.
kami bertukar 3 ward sepanjang 30 hari ni. Teratai 2c, Tanjung 4c, Tanjung 4a.
panjang cerita kami duduk di situ.
semalaman tidur di rumah.
4th August, admitted to KMC until now, the moment that i wrote this entri.
penat x?
ya, mmg penat.
my emak selalu ckp pd sy, "sian awak ebby, penat jage mak"
masa tu, rs nk nangis dgr die ckp mcm tu.
:)
tp sy bersyukur, Allah kurniakan kesihatan tubuh badan pd sy sepanjang 30 hari itu. sampailah skrg. Terima Kasih Allah. kalu sy masih xbersyukur, mmglah sy manusia yg paling kufur.
ramai insan2 yg turut bersusah payah bersama2 kami sepanjang 30 hr tu.kalu nk sy senaraikan, xtersenarai, takut ada yg tertinggal... sy doakn Allah membalas beribu2 kali kebaikan yg telah kalian korbankan tuk sy dan my emak.
terima kasih. jasa kalian hanya Allah yg boleh membalasnya.
Ar-Rahman . Ar-Rahim.
p/s: Auntie Rohani, sy doakan Allah kurniakan kebaikan, kesabaran dan kasih syg yg melimpah2 tuk auntie dan keluarga.
cukup genap 30 hari sy duduk di HTAA.
kami bertukar 3 ward sepanjang 30 hari ni. Teratai 2c, Tanjung 4c, Tanjung 4a.
panjang cerita kami duduk di situ.
semalaman tidur di rumah.
4th August, admitted to KMC until now, the moment that i wrote this entri.
penat x?
ya, mmg penat.
my emak selalu ckp pd sy, "sian awak ebby, penat jage mak"
masa tu, rs nk nangis dgr die ckp mcm tu.
:)
tp sy bersyukur, Allah kurniakan kesihatan tubuh badan pd sy sepanjang 30 hari itu. sampailah skrg. Terima Kasih Allah. kalu sy masih xbersyukur, mmglah sy manusia yg paling kufur.
ramai insan2 yg turut bersusah payah bersama2 kami sepanjang 30 hr tu.kalu nk sy senaraikan, xtersenarai, takut ada yg tertinggal... sy doakn Allah membalas beribu2 kali kebaikan yg telah kalian korbankan tuk sy dan my emak.
terima kasih. jasa kalian hanya Allah yg boleh membalasnya.
Ar-Rahman . Ar-Rahim.
p/s: Auntie Rohani, sy doakan Allah kurniakan kebaikan, kesabaran dan kasih syg yg melimpah2 tuk auntie dan keluarga.
Khamis, Julai 01, 2010
emosi lembik cm taufufa
setiap kali org pesan "sabarlah yer mak cik" pd my emak, sy jd lembik. xdpt nk thn air mata.
kalu dpt can bersendirian, dlm toilet ke, tgh drive ke, mesti air mata tumpah lg.
bila org tanya sy : how r u? sy akn senyum dulu, bg 'fake'kn hati yg tengah pedih. tp lepas ditanya soklan tu berulang kali, air mata turun laju sgt...
tgh mkn, rs air mata jatuh jugak.
lembik.
serius lembik.
kalu Allah uji kt diri sendiri, br tahu peritnye.
kaki sejuk, menggeletar. tahap lembik yg paling lembik dlm hidup.
bila hati mempengaruhi akal, badan pn jd xstabil.
tp,
sy tahu, semua doa2 anda ada bersama saya.
i want to be better. i will be strong.
Insyaallah.
Alhamdulillah. atas ujian ini. atas doa2 mereka. atas petunjuk-Mu.
210
ward Makmur
KMC
1.35 am
KMC
kalu dpt can bersendirian, dlm toilet ke, tgh drive ke, mesti air mata tumpah lg.
bila org tanya sy : how r u? sy akn senyum dulu, bg 'fake'kn hati yg tengah pedih. tp lepas ditanya soklan tu berulang kali, air mata turun laju sgt...
tgh mkn, rs air mata jatuh jugak.
lembik.
serius lembik.
kalu Allah uji kt diri sendiri, br tahu peritnye.
kaki sejuk, menggeletar. tahap lembik yg paling lembik dlm hidup.
bila hati mempengaruhi akal, badan pn jd xstabil.
tp,
sy tahu, semua doa2 anda ada bersama saya.
i want to be better. i will be strong.
Insyaallah.
Alhamdulillah. atas ujian ini. atas doa2 mereka. atas petunjuk-Mu.
210
ward Makmur
KMC
1.35 am
KMC
Selasa, Jun 29, 2010
Kuasa Allah, tak ada manusia yg boleh halang
"salam eby..Akak harap eby,mak n family tabah dan kuat hadapi ujian ni..Rajin2 baca Al-Quran, smg Allah berikan ketabahan, kesabaran n kesembuhan..Minta selalu dengan Allah..Doa akak sentiasa bersama eby n family..Kuatkan semangat ek.."
semalam, Dr.Mokhtar dr KMC sahkan my emak ada kanser pangkal rahim. saiznya lebih besar sikit dr bola tenis.
Alhamdulillah.
Semoga aku redha dengan Qada' dan Qadar-Mu Ya Rabbi.
217
Ward Mamkmur
KMC
8.15 pm
semalam, Dr.Mokhtar dr KMC sahkan my emak ada kanser pangkal rahim. saiznya lebih besar sikit dr bola tenis.
Alhamdulillah.
Semoga aku redha dengan Qada' dan Qadar-Mu Ya Rabbi.
217
Ward Mamkmur
KMC
8.15 pm
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